.passion.love.pride.

Sigh. I am quite stressed. I don’t know why I’m this stressed – this level of stress only hits when I have a million things going on and I have no idea what is actually going on.

But I know, this time.

I have an insect biology test and physiological ecology test on Thursday, back to back. I have a theoretical population growth lab report due after I return from Chicago. I have an insect biology lab practical the Thursday after I return. On the Wednesday before that, I have a population ecology test.

I am probably this stressed because I don’t know half of what is going on in insect biology (because I don’t attend half the lectures in the course, due to scheduling), and the person supposed to send me lecture recordings has not done so yet.

When I am this stressed, I make a lot of mistakes. Mistakes I generally don’t make, and only make because I am preoccupied and thinking about other things. I don’t like to be stressed, because this is what happens.

I am going to take 20 minutes off right now. And then declare war.

A peek at my life now:

Theoretical lab on population dynamics, generated in class.

Receiving packages!

Heat pads from Alan’s aunt (:

Birthday present from the boy (:

House love (:

Manual mode, and black and white practice (:

More house love and wackiness (:

Work, work and more work.

Trying to take self portraits, unsuccessfully.

Being stretched, now and then (:

And exercising leg muscles!

Commanding my own army.

And never wanting to leave. (: This is in the bus, at the Buffalo customs.

Come February 21st, I’d have been to:

Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.
Montreal, Quebec, Canada.
New York, New York State, USA.
Washington, District of Columbia, USA.
Boston, Massachusetts, USA.
Detroit, Michigan, USA.
Chicago, Illinois, USA.
Cleveland, Ohio, USA.

Total travel time: 31 days. (:

OH. MY. GOODNESS. I know I said I celebrate my birthday 1-2 weeks before and after the actual date itself (so it’s like I have a month of holiday, I like that idea!), but this was SUCH a lovely surprise!

While skyping with mom this morning, I heard someone rapping on the door, and realised it was the postman after looking through the peephole.

“Looking for Mindy Tuan?”
“Ahh.. Yes?” I was staring at the postage he had in hand, recognising the familiar handwriting and feeling my heart swell.
Passing me the postage, he said “Oh it’s you ah? Postage from Singapore Lah”
Still staring at the handwriting, I exclaimed “Oh cool!”
He pushed a piece of paper to me, and handed me a pen. “Sign here Lah“
As if I was suddenly jolted awake, I said in delight “Oh you know the Singapore slang!”
He smiled (in hokkien we would call it um-chio) and asked whether I was hokkien, hakka or teochew. I said hokkien, and bid him a good day. It was then that I realised he could have passed off as a Singaporean in looks. Why did I not get his attempts to say Lah? Because it was so deliberate, I just didn’t draw a connection to the singlish lahs we use! He was probably a Singaporean though. (:

Bringing the postage back to my table to show mom, I then realised whose handwriting it was! The lovely, neat familiar handwriting another friend and I used to praise as well, neat and lovely! Colleen Chua! Sure enough, I turned the postage around and recognised the address on the back as hers. (:

If you look at the picture above, you’ll realise there are two envelopes. The card came in another envelope, with postage paid to two addresses, none of them mine. Since tradition held that we would write cards in front of each other for every birthday girl, the story inside explained:

“cos you were not here for us to write the card in front of, we ended up mailing THIS very card to each other. so yes, this card has accumulated quite a bit of frequent flyer miles. haha.”

I am so touched and honoured!! Reading their little notes in the card made memories flow back, and I ended up smiling to myself for a long time. (: The other ultra-cool part was the present they sent me! It’s a MIGHTY WALLET, the very same type that I saw in the Smithsonian Museum and was so intrigued by! I didn’t buy the ones there because all they had were the gaudy neon green and oranges, but I was so intrigued I wanted to get other designs buy it for friends! AND NOW I HAVE ONE!!!

Fantastically, the design is of positive black and white film negatives. (: OMG. This is so meaningful to me, really! OH MAN. (: Am I not fortunate to have such lovely people in my life?

The past two to three days have been spent report writing, reference searching, logical analysis planning and NOT sleeping.

After Thursday, I’ll crash for a while. And then it’s rinse and repeat.

On another note, here are the lovelies that kept me going:

There is something in me, that is innate and instinctual, and has a keen tendency to rebel against normality. It rebels against the idea of living easy, or taking the easy way out. It turns its nose at adventure-less smooth roads and pounces on the idea of doing what others haven’t done, or are choosing not to do. That something yearns to learn more, and is delighted every time the choice towards the road less taken is made.

That something is making me so damn happy and proud, and is also currently giving me a hard time in my physiological ecology report. Nevertheless, I am glad. (:

Oh, the beauty of being in love –

getting all heady and smiling to oneself, and everything seems just all that more brightly lit, warmer and the skies turn a comforting blue; the grasses sing along a chorus when you start humming a tune, and colours, images, and stuffed toys come to life!

And I’m not just talking about that one special other in your life (: It’s about being in love with living and life!

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I have so many adventures and funny stories to share with you from my trip to Boston, I don’t know where to start! And if you know me, someday whilst we walk along the flowing waters in the gardens, I will start unravelling the tales and we will laugh with delight, throwing our heads back and catching the wind in our fingers.

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Just simply, so immensely happy. (:

So, a fujitsu lifebook like mine that’s 14 inches or so in length and mebbe two thirds of that in width is hard to fit in properly in a greyhound seat and type comfortably. Oh, and goodness forbid if the person in front of me reclines his chair, because then I’d effectively be working blind on a laptop that’d have to have its lid closed!

In Albany now, and the boundless blue skies have lifted my spirits quite effectively. We’re waiting for the next bus driver to come and take us away to Boston; it seems like he might have lost his way, because he ain’t here yet! Hurhur.

I just checked the weather for Boston, and I’m surprised to hear that it’s -22 degrees with wind chill! And the wind is at a killer speed of 46km/hour. NOT looking forward to that.

On the bright side, Charlie cards (similar to an EZ Link in Singapore) in Boston give discounts at Quincy market and everywhere else, so I’m contemplating if it’s worth it to buy one. Actually, I’d most likely be getting a 7-day subway pass, because it only costs $15, when a 1-day pass is $9. If you do the math, it’s an obvious choice if you know you’re going to be there for 2 and a half days and using the subway a lot. So yeah, that’s some information for you!

HAHHAHAHA. Okay so this is real time now. The bus driver is driving us off (Yayy!) but we’re late in schedule, so we’re arriving slightly later. This is part of his announcement:

“If you wanna talk to other passengers, whisper – and since we all have different personal habits, and different definitions of whisper, when I say whisper, I mean make believe you had a dream and you wanna tell your friend and you don’t want anybody else to hear”.

I’m currently at the Syracruse Greyhound station, waiting for my bus to come take me away at 6.15am – and I’m almost there. It’s 4.11am now.

Surprisingly, there is another passenger who is travelling to Boston on the same route as me – Eva, a well-travelled, experienced lady of 68 years from Jamaica with tonnes of stories, and who is genuine, funny and lives in Toronto now!

The really cool part is that she wants to go back to Toronto on Monday as well, and I told her my bus leaves Boston at 5pm and arrives in Toronto at 7am, and she’s likely to take the same bus as me! We’ve spent the past 3 hours or so talking while she ate her subway (I’m saving money so I might buy a subway if I get desperate), and swapping stories about living in various areas and travelling to and from cities.

You know, I thought I might meet someone cool on this trip to talk with on the bus or something, and I really did! This is already, I know, one of the highlights of the trip (:

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So I’m going to Boston to see the folks I met last year in Borneo during the Harvard summer field course – I know for sure I will be seeing Abby, Alex, Serena and perhaps Jessica and Andrew. I hope Kristina, Molly and Douwe can make it as well! That would be awesome.

This is a picture of us at Deramakot in Sabah. (: This photograph made it to the press in the local region, talking about how we loved our time there!

I have so many places in Boston and Cambridge I want to go to – I wish I had more days to walk around and take in the experience!

From this station the bus will take me to Albany, and then finally to Boston. LONG TRAVEL. Hurhur. It’ll be worth it though. (:

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So, you may know that I’m travelling to Cleveland in February, and it was a trip that I booked SOLELY to visit Amish Country, which is in a town called Berlin. Little did I know (at the time of booking) that it would be near impossible for me to get to Berlin (for cheap, and in that time). The result? I’m going to Cleveland still (after all, I booked the tickets) and I’ll certainly make sure I enjoy myself, but I’ll miss out on Amish Country, which is unfortunate.

How amusing (or taunting) it is then, that for the past 3 hours or so, I have been in the same building as six Amish people, but I personally think it would be too awkward to approach them.

It would seem that I only become as awkward as a teenager gets during those years as I get older, which is absurd. Anyhoo. That means I won’t be talking to them at any rate. Just stealing glances. :b

Doing film photography has me more disciplined than I ever imagined; as an unfamiliar domain revisited, I tend to the side of caution, especially since every frame now has a cost.

Composition, lighting and subject detail now etch themselves into my mind, turning their tones from the visible colour spectrum we see, into the rich tonal colours of black, grey and white. What is interesting in colour, may be dull in black and white. It is a new world.

I now keep a notebook with notes. My first contact sheet is printed, and we are printing our first test and actual prints in the next two weeks of class, and I have several photographs in mind to print. I am lucky and fortunate, that things have turned out well!

Virgil has performed fantastically – I am extremely satisfied and contented with the turnout of the photographs (from what I can see from the contact sheet). The exposure for almost all photographs is good, few photos are over or under exposed, considering that it’s the first time I am using this camera, and this is his first roll of film.

It is also the first time I have shot film in manual mode, and it is the first time I am using this film, so considering all the factors, this has turned out extremely well!

I am bringing an extra four rolls of film* with me to Boston – well, we never know what opportunities will turn up. Of course, Dante will be by my side if there is anything I cannot or am not confident to do with Virgil. There is one thing I have not done with Virgil, and that is to take a self timer shot. I’ll try to do some this time round. :D

The internet is full of wonder – even without a paper manual from the guy who sold me Virgil, I have found the original one online, and can now refer to it for any questions. How convenient!

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*On a side note, today was a wonderful day! Time passed so quickly that I realised quite late that today was the only day I would get to buy film, and the only interval was from 11am to 1pm between classes. So off I went to Downtown Camera at Queen Street, walking for about 25 minutes before I reached, and VIOLA.

Was really happy getting a discount for the rolls! :D

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I can’t believe I’m actually getting to see the Bornean-Harvard gang this soon after we just met in June last year! Damn fortunate, ay? I hear Boston and Cambridge is just beautiful, and there’s so many places I want to go!

I’ll be leaving soon after class ends tomorrow, so keep well and tight, and I’ll write again soon!